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Author Topic: Dodging The Chinese Parent Trap  (Read 6189 times)

ryan_madden

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Dodging The Chinese Parent Trap
« on: January 24, 2011, 01:43:46 AM »

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2011-01/23/content_11901111.htm

It is true that Chinese parents want their kids to be the best: have the best education, the best job, and the best life as a result. But is it really worth all the stress and anxiety when their child(ren) don't live up to that pre-defined image of what they (the parents) want, or expect, of them?

Granted, when we were kids, our parents would have wanted the same thing - but there is a stark difference between the childhood that Westerners have, and the childhood that Chinese people have.

What do you think?
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Aussie Mike

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Re: Dodging The Chinese Parent Trap
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2011, 03:07:43 AM »

I do have pity for children in China, especially the responsibility that is thrust upon them to provide for the rest of the family.

In general, parents in Australia, do not want their children to provide for their the parents and grand -parents, rather they want to leave something for the children's future. Of course Australia is luckier than most countries because Australia provides welfare for citizens who are disadvantaged, e.g. aged pension, unemployment benefits, disability welfare.

We also have superannuation which is a default savings system. Basically, the worker pays an amount, the employer then has to pay a similar amount and the government pay into the super as well. so the advantage is that you pay 1 and get 3 in return. Many super funds mature when you reach 55.

The "aging population" is a concept that is real throughout the world. People are living longer and families are getting smaller. I was born into a large family of 6 boys where any or all of us can provide for our parents with little hardship, however, in China where there is a single child policy and the burden to provide for the entire family is expected.
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ryan_madden

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Re: Dodging The Chinese Parent Trap
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2011, 03:57:53 AM »

I do have pity for children in China, especially the responsibility that is thrust upon them to provide for the rest of the family.

In general, parents in Australia, do not want their children to provide for their the parents and grand -parents, rather they want to leave something for the children's future. Of course Australia is luckier than most countries because Australia provides welfare for citizens who are disadvantaged, e.g. aged pension, unemployment benefits, disability welfare.

We also have superannuation which is a default savings system. Basically, the worker pays an amount, the employer then has to pay a similar amount and the government pay into the super as well. so the advantage is that you pay 1 and get 3 in return. Many super funds mature when you reach 55.

The "aging population" is a concept that is real throughout the world. People are living longer and families are getting smaller. I was born into a large family of 6 boys where any or all of us can provide for our parents with little hardship, however, in China where there is a single child policy and the burden to provide for the entire family is expected.

Agreed - there are huge differences is social security/welfare between Australia, China, and other Western countries; however, it seems that Chinese can be compared to the ancient Spartans - they were trained to be nothing but soldiers: Chinese children, it seems, are "trained" to be nothing but the best to their parents.

Granted, that isn't/shouldn't be a bad view; but the extent the parents will push their children to in order to fulfill that view seems to be a bit too "intense" (namely, their life seems little more than study or work - no chance to live the way they want to).  :(

As you mentioned, the controversial one-child policy is leading to a large amount of aging Chinese folks to be looked after by their children and/or grandchildren - this is also not such a bad thing, as Chinese society seems very family-orientated - but the fewer siblings they have, the harder it could make some Chinese people's lives (as in trying to juggle job(s), their own family, and their parents).
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Aussie Mike

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Re: Dodging The Chinese Parent Trap
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2011, 07:28:55 AM »

Especially if the only child dies. The burden is then put onto the extended family.

I know a fellow who has to provide for 4 grand-parents, 4 uncles and 2 aunties as well as his own wife and child.
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Haiying

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Re: Dodging The Chinese Parent Trap
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2012, 04:18:42 AM »

your concern is quite right and urgent to our society. aging society will be a serious problem to our country.
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